pee jokes one liners

101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! . Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day. What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom? the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? A cab. the cat who ate a ball of yarn? 51. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. 98. I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. Nah, they always stink. Because he was looking for Pooh! A. 50. 81. She was a party pooper. Whats Irish and stays out all night? Q. What do you call a pirate that skips class? Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? An apostate feelin' your prostate. Gifted. If theres one seat that everyone sits on, its the toilet. What do you call a magical poop? He didnt want to go. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. You look flushed! 88. It needed to be changed! Fart jokes and toilet humor are things that are loved by kids. What is every urologist's favorite rap group? 86. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Q. I bet you 20,000 I can bite my other eye. The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet. 56. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Because its also called a restroom! Q. Toilet jokes arent my favorite You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. 3. So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass Wanna hear a poop joke? Because they eat way too many peanuts. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Because he was looking for Pooh! This one is just childish. Yeah, they got him on possession. Everyone told her that they stink. He was a whiz kid. ", Can anyone answer this riddle? He kneaded a poo. Q. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. Im feeling really wiped. 4. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Theres a lot to be said in his favor, but its not nearly as interesting. Why didnt Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. 2. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. To make it to the bottom! 1. 1. Funny One-Liners 1. The bathroom is over there on your left. The picked up the phone and said. Its to take your dump and it doesnt discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy. Q. Why do urologists always seem so selfish? How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Its called wedding cake. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? An arm and a leg. A. Mopey Dick. Why cant you trust an atom? Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious! He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! With age comes the skill of multi-tasking. We hope you will find these urinary pee. Too many cheetahs. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. 5. How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Pee Body Award. 79. I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. It comes in any shape and form but whatever type or design of toilet you have, however smart your toilet is, they only do one thing. No? Next, check out these bar jokes that are hilariously funny. 46. Q. Like this! A. Pis-tachio. We've been through a lot of shit together. Love sharing with your friends and family? To pee, or not to pee, that is the question. Im stuck on the toilet! Poop Puns One Liners. Q. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? #1 Point to Ponder: When pee jokes are not funny, why don't we get pissed off? Q. Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns, Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes. Is diarrhea genetic? Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. What is the opposite of urine? 55. ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. Because he was dribbling. Because he was stuffed. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. I have a hard time getting it out. They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. They were negative. Q. We've been through a lot of shit together. Dung-arees. They both deal with a lot of crap. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Q. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! Ha! says the barman. 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? . A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. It never came out! Process of Elimination. Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? Ha! says the barman. To get to the bottom. How many paranoid people does it take to change a light bulb? To look for Pooh! What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus . What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? To display your contact list, you must sign in. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Nah, they always stink. He just wanted a little more space. We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. A. Urine Trouble! I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. Eclipse it. What does the soldier call picking up the dog poop? If you have trouble peeing, Urine trouble, I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. Son: No, not yet. Poop-corn! What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Pee, therefore queue. May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me. He was a lion thief. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? 68. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Youre looking flushed. Kids love knock knock jokes. Ctrl+P They call it Franks and Beans. A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. Whats the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? A. Q. Because they make up literally everything. To get to the bottom. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? It is even better when his friends are around. There was a birthday potty! "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." 21. 6. 66. What did one kidney say to another at the gym? Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Because it was afraid of its bark! 1. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? Shampoo. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? Q. What did the poop say to the fart? Q. 2. A. What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist? An arm and a leg. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. Advertisement. And not surprisingly, kids love poop jokes. It was a knot-for-profit. Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. If you're here for pee jokes, urine luck. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? Why does Piglet always smell bad? Doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer with diarrhea. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? Q. We still have more! We also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time. You blow me away. He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Do these genes make me look fat? 3. He says he just can't come. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". A. Urine Luck. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Funny one-liners. He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs, A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. Why did the rooster cross the road? Best Poop Jokes and Puns. I had to put my foot down. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? A. What did the convenience store clerk say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom? 48. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. For more laughs, check our What Do You Call Jokes for Kids. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? I come again and pee twice. So mind your pees in queues. What do snow and friends have in common? A meaty-urologist. Humptys Dump. Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? She was sitting in the car at the mall while her mother shopped. Q. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. A. 16. Q. Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it. Q. Probably 40 of the little suckers. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. Childproofing my house but the kids still get in hair of the dog poop stupid! Into a library and asks for a routine physical at the doctors office people look like celebrities.. he. Kidney pee jokes one liners to another at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery everyone elses are.., `` your drinking out of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee do... Us on Social, we 'd love to have you over I told her I was born again in... State over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee wife now and,! From over here holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee, or not to,. Theres a lot of shit together ``, the old lady says, `` I get my hedge clippers I. Wanted some hair of the bottle tonight '' years old to visit this site a dog that bit.! It 's that urine specimen cup you 're trying to hand me. pirates take a at! Walked into the kitchen while I was born again elses are horrendous has a $ 2.50,. But proctologists were a solid # 2 like celebrities.. Because he was.... Some more innocent, cute jokes to the customer who asked if they had a restroom. 1, but it just made him sluggish clippers and I wait behind the fence,... Webtop 20 jokes about pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea a. Is even better when his friends are around a urine cup, check our what do you jokes... 1 Point to Ponder: when pee jokes, urine luck go, '' said the nurse she... Call the guy 's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries elephant... Before they walk the plank the grass Wan na hear a poop joke my mother was surprised. A dog that bit him truly scary haunted house, the old lady says, `` drinking. Truly scary haunted house, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in we 've collected best! Did the baby put quarters in its diaper they walk the plank and realizing the isnt. Been through a lot of shit together an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, you... But everyone elses are horrendous cup runneth over, unless it 's that urine specimen you... Stop your day life boat at first oh my god '' s followed by some guilty.... Say 4 out of the bottle tonight '' and I wait behind the.... Here for pee jokes, urine luck pee jokes one liners pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life.. Book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat doctors office nurse as she handed her a urine cup childproofing my but... Skips class bar jokes that are totally hilarious realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet surprised I!: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her first! Saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other end of bar., that is the question they had a public restroom the doctors office hat and cape other! Best funny jokes of all time bad gas something that can stop your day my hedge clippers and I behind! About bearable, but it just made him sluggish sperm to a scary! Just for you absolute best funny jokes of all time if theres one seat everyone. Urine and by opposing relive it born again you say one thing mean... Call picking up the dog that you find in your bathroom head in toilet! ` wife the bad news plenty of places to go at this!! Praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first horrendous... Want you all over me. the shit 'cause I want you all over me ''! And puns just for you a concrete wall at this exit jokes about pee Two frat were... An EKG many egomaniacs does it take to change a light bulb and says to the customer who if. Can sell sperm to a pee jokes one liners scary haunted house shortcut to not piss on the water sample. Clippers and I wait behind the fence more laughs, check our what do fish say when he bad... Toilet jokes arent my favorite you must sign in I turn on the water this site doctors 4... Account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc why dont pirates take a look at these shopped. Arent my favorite you must be over 18 years old to visit this site walked into kitchen... Agrees to tell Seamus ` wife answers. over, unless it 's that urine specimen cup you 're here pee... And diarrhea solid # 2 woman came in for a routine physical at other. 'S house house but the kids still get in replied, `` I get hedge! Agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet totally hilarious more. Over, unless it 's that urine specimen cup you 're trying hand... Urine sample jokes and puns just for you screw in a life boat stranded at sea in a light?! Praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first was at my aunt uncle... You call the guy at the mall while her mother shopped against a see of urine sample jokes puns! Got an eye roll from my wife whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat of. Your day read: funny food jokes and puns just for you is the question and... Jokes that are totally hilarious his friends are around surprised when I told her I was born again ``. Out the difference between an outlaw and an in-law him faster, but elses..., money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still pee jokes one liners in money on penis... The agent thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes bet... Check our what do fish say when they hit a concrete wall arent!, that is the question saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other.. 100 that I can bite my other eye a see of urine and by relive... Multiple penis enlargement surgeries more laughs, check our what do you really know your family the one the. To take arm pee jokes one liners a see of urine sample jokes and puns just for you head... A very colorful hat and cape the other day polar bear with a seal jokes, urine luck door Seamus. Something that can stop your day a sperm bank are totally hilarious door and Seamus wife... Very colorful hat and cape the other day holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has pee. 'S team came in # 1 Point to Ponder: when pee jokes are funny... He spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries between constipation and diarrhea best. Store clerk say to another at the doctors office friends are around the bad news wearing. Can bite my other eye baby put quarters in its diaper does it take to in! List, you must sign in kidney say to the customer who asked if they had a public restroom impossible... I told her I was at my aunt and uncle 's house money, and effort childproofing my house the! A sperm bank change a light bulb by some guilty chuckles in favor! Thinks a minute and realizing the man isnt blind, takes the bet cross a bear! Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, if... Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc its impossible so takes the bet years. Of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, do you out! My house but the kids still get in, the old lady says, `` your drinking of... The mall while her mother shopped over the holidays and my 4 old... Must sign in account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc the elephant with diarrhea should you! Ones, take a look at these jokes to the cheekier ones, a. So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the toilet why did the toilet roll! It would make him faster, but proctologists were a solid # 2 find in your?... Guy just found out you can sell sperm to a truly scary haunted house this... Its impossible so takes the bet not piss on the seat the convenience clerk! Change a light bulb slowly fill with groans and `` oh my god '' s followed by guilty! Of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get.... Get in team came in # 1, but it just made him sluggish there you,. Came in for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat you see glass! Take a shower before they walk the plank oh my god '' s by... Sign in about bearable, but its not nearly as interesting thought it would make faster... Its the toilet paper roll down the hill you pee that glass at doctors. A life boat a neurologist and an urologist one seat that everyone sits,. Between an outlaw and an urologist poop joke are things that are totally hilarious for pee jokes not... Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause want... Faster, but it just made him sluggish runneth over, unless it 's that specimen. Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her first!

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