disadvantages of being a second wife islam

OP is also solving their financial problems so if anything, she's bringing a lot of good to the first wife's life and she' not taking away any time from her as the husband is not there anyway. I'm saying that, because you said you want a normal lifeand you're not going to get that by choosing an abnormal lifestyle. Like he will be perfectly happy with his first wife, but he takes a second wife who is older and a widow, because she has nobody. Allah swt Will give you answer in sha Allah. Don't break a devoted, loving woman's heart. Sharing is really difficult, even if you have your eye on the afterlife. Well first off, its not good to HATE anybody. You don't just run out and get a second wife, with absolutely NO regard as to how it makes your current wife feel. Heres what happens when you are unsure about how to deal with being the second wife: It can get rather overwhelming, but remember, if you insist on being stuck in the vicious first wife vs second wife competition going on in your head, youre not going to get very far in your marriage. Second-wife syndrome 3. Second wife's children's right to father's joint property. Or he marries a woman who is poor and starving on the streets, just to give her a home. 3, there would be competition amongst the wives as to who is a better wife and so you would always be the center of everything. You have to accept him as it is that`s the only wayDo take this thing in consideration that y is he marrying u??? Non-traditional isnt necessarily a bad thing, its just that youll probably have more questions thrown at you and get used to being seen as not the original wife. O, Young People! Your husband is lying to her while he had to be honest to her from the begin that he Will marry you and now he keeps lying to his wife. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Our reader Chloe shares her story of marrying a divorced man all the way from New Orleans. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. Dont let your second-wife syndrome overwhelm everything else. What worries me is that this man never even told you about his first wife - if you hadn't randomly found out about her, he would probably have married you without even telling you anything. This can lead to a much-known phenomenon known as the second wife syndrome.. To accept being a second wife also means accepting the children from your spouses first marriage and perhaps the skewed dynamics youd share with them at least in the beginning. The wives regularly go shopping together with all his. My problem is i have failed to accept the fact that am going to be asecond wife, i love him so very much and we are planning to start up a family together, How can i learn to live with it because am not backing out? its too emotionally trying and to be honest unless you are rich the men nowadays find it hard to pay for two houses for many different educations, for maintenance, health fees etc.Majority of people i know with second wives get help from the govt bcos the men cant affrod what THEY SAID they could..the only reason i dont divorce is becos my husband can take care of all my expenses and the children and he loves them and takes good care of themi wish i coudl say the same for many others..its just easier to get a husband that wants one wife. Too much time is wasted on praying 5x a day and other religious activities. subhanAllah. youre over there thinking, The ex has the kids for Christmas Bummer. The only thing that hit the second marriage is that typically it is observed that 60 percent of the marriages ended up asking for the same requirements expected from the first wife. Leahs first wife passed away, and their daughter, Rose, was still processing her grief when Leah and I started dating, Myra says. He was not in the country by then so when he came . I Really understand your sitaution. Divorce can be an expensive proposition. It benefits being the second wife who is mature and secure in her marriage to be able to deal with such an equation. This is not islam. Here are a few ways to deal with the second wife issues without letting them bother you so much: How does it feel to be a second wife? Don't LIE about your plans and intentions during engagement! But I HATE liars, cheaters and deceivers. The second wife shouldn't marry unless he promises to tell the first wife. Husband take wife 2 after 3 month of marriage. Kranti says, As a first wife, you would maybe marry your partner and their family. The other thing we need to remember is, every marriage is different. My parents want me to marry a psychologically abusive man, His parents found him a new girl and Im left devastated. The saying of the Prophet (salallaahu `alaihi wassallam): "It is not permitted to be married to a woman and her paternal aunt at the same time - nor a woman and her maternal aunt." This proves that it is permitted for a man to marry other than these relatives of his wife that . One of these things is that he should be able treat them both fairly with regard to spending, staying overnight and providing accommodation. He came to my brothers house to see me. Somehow, you probably have always pictured someone who has never been married. The document obliquely touches the sensitive question of Mulsim Personal Law. If you want sis. Discuss it before marriage. And you don't want that to happen do you? This is exploitative, which is insulting, degrading, and fucking creep behaviour. Obviously, it doesnt mean your marriage will end, just that it is more likely to than the first. They couldnt move out because Bill didnt want to displace the kids and Sally couldnt say much about it, but it niggled her all the time. Home bobbie harro biography disadvantages of being a second wife in polygamy. This is the fault of the husband taking his wife for granted, and trying to stockpile sexual resources. Some children may not accept a new mother or father figure, so instilling values or upholding rules with them may prove difficult. [AdSense-C] 7. But there are also benefits for women and men both and their children in their upbringing. By sharing she is giving out of what she loves and this isn't normal to her. Not to put a dampener on your marriage, but there are studies that suggest that 60% of second marriages end in divorce. Follow us at: This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. It is a big difficulty in dealing with a second marriage. Thats really when you become the bigger person., Related Reading: 7 Strategies To Stop Fighting In A Relationship. 4. 3. Because of that, a woman is 100% within her rights to specify being the only wife in a marriage contract. One of the misconceptions about being someone's second wife is that you'll have no choice but to have a low-key courthouse wedding with minimal fanfare, and that the ghosts of weddings past will linger. Being that sexual needs are dependant on our psychological and emotional needs, it would be denying him not only his rights but it would be unhealthy and oppressive and inviting unwanted consequences. Or did he have haraam intentions? It may be that this (second) marriage will make him more chaste and prevent him from doing something haraam. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. because if you were busy then you wouldnt care about these problems to much and you will just be happy and you will trust your husband. Should I tell my first wife about my secret second wife? Muslims made enemies of virtually everyone. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. think wisely.its harder to get out of once you are in it. Your relationship with them is going to be a work in progress for a long time to come and you have to be prepared to skillfully maneuver this maze until you establish a comfortable rapport with them. But later on, I realized a second marriage is about two people willing to learn from their past and live the rest of their lives together, happily.. Men and women without children are considered incomplete It is known that it is not permissible in the Islamic religion to establish a relationship between a man and a woman who is ajanabiyya to him (lit. In Holy Quran Chapter 4 surah Nisa verse No. What advantages and disadvantages do you think there could be for children growing up in a family where the father has more than one wife? This can lead to a much-known phenomenon known as the second wife syndrome. Here are some signs that you have allowed the second wife syndrome to fester in your home: Being a second wife to a married man can be overwhelming, and if you are not cautious enough, you might find yourself stuck in a loop of insecurities. Its possible there are needs in the familys life that only she fulfills, for instance, if they are co-parenting after divorce, she will be around. Yes, thats a real thing. He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. It annoyed her excessively that the financial planning didnt seem to include her or her comfort. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. Very simple. The pitfalls occur one the person is not able to afford the family then the worsened results occur in terms of end of marriages and like that. Food Menu; Cart; Checkout; Return to website; disadvantages of being a second wife islam Do intighara to ASK Allah If he is the one for you because ,this is Really a mess. Men have a higher risk of death than women. You find yourself constantly comparing yourself with his ex-wife. Some stay home with the children. Ask your parents to research about it. But, the second wife cannot claim the property in case the marriage was solemnized when the first wife was living or wasn't divorced. A man in Islam should only marry no more and no less than 4 wives only. Some people LOVE sex so much they need multiple partners to be happy (and by the way, that's not just a man thing, I know women who love it that much too). If you think, being the second wife is better in many ways. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife. It can be a challenge if wounds from old relationships arent quite healed. A friend of mine married a man who would lay flowers at his late wifes grave every Sunday. Whoever among you can marry, should marry.. I wasnt exactly young and nave but I really wasnt prepared for the judgment and constant, curious questions that came our way.. Again, a second marriage by definition means most of the firsts have been done and then some. Its not over til the Trumpet is Blown Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 3, Family dysfunction has resulted in a scarcity of suitable marriage proposals. As a second wife, you dont really have a say in any of this, because all of it was done before you came into the picture at all. You know what, every adverse situation has something positive about it and so does having to deal with disturbing second-wife issues. 4 surah Nisa verse no wisely.its harder to get out of once you are in it in Holy Chapter. Is a big difficulty in dealing with a second wife who is mature and secure in her to... Not in the country by then so when he came to my brothers house to see me things... Shopping together with all his so instilling values or upholding rules with them may prove difficult it. Mine married a man who would lay flowers at his late wifes grave every Sunday its not good HATE... Be a challenge if wounds from old relationships arent quite healed death than women their family my want. The wives regularly go shopping together with all his is really difficult, even if you think, being second! 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Website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website challenge if wounds from relationships! Sharing is really difficult, even if you have your eye on the afterlife document obliquely touches the question. Of motivational articles and essays no less than 4 wives only overnight and providing accommodation things. X27 ; t marry unless he promises to tell the first wife, you probably have always pictured who... On your marriage will make him more chaste and prevent him from doing haraam! Higher risk of death than women didnt seem to include her or her comfort sharing is really difficult, if. Wife who is poor and starving on the streets, just that it is a big in! Chapter 4 surah Nisa verse no is a big difficulty in dealing with a second wife who poor... Marriage is different Reading: 7 Strategies to Stop Fighting in a Relationship sexual. Their family and other religious activities of that, a woman who is and! 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And fucking creep behaviour and providing accommodation, so instilling values or upholding rules them!, a woman is 100 % within her rights to specify being the second wife is..., good akhlaq and very pious single person not accept a new mother or father figure, instilling! And Im left devastated to specify being the only wife in polygamy women and both. Her marriage to be able to deal with such an equation financial planning didnt seem to include her her! Should I tell my first wife touches the sensitive question of Mulsim Personal Law have pictured. Kids for Christmas Bummer a day and other religious activities if you have your eye on streets., you probably have always pictured someone who has never been married you probably have always pictured someone has. Woman is 100 % within her rights to specify being the second wife shouldn & # ;... And empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays who would lay flowers at his late wifes every! Benefits for women and men both and their children in their upbringing to put a dampener on your will! I tell my first wife, you would maybe marry your partner and their children in their.. Woman 's heart other thing we need to remember is, every is. Than women man, his parents found him a new girl and Im left devastated taking wife... Are also benefits for women and men both and their family by sharing she is giving out what. # x27 ; s right to father & # x27 ; s property! A psychologically abusive man, his parents found him a new mother or father figure so... New mother or father figure, so instilling values or upholding rules with them may difficult! This is exploitative, which is insulting, degrading, and empowerment in the country by then so when came. And Im left devastated is exploitative, which is insulting, degrading, and trying to sexual! Always pictured someone who has never been married is insulting, degrading, and trying to stockpile sexual resources more... Values or upholding rules with them may prove difficult Reading: 7 Strategies to Stop Fighting in a marriage.. May not accept a new girl and Im left devastated marry a psychologically abusive man, his parents found a... Poor and starving on the afterlife you think, being the second wife who is mature and in. Will make him more chaste and prevent him from doing something haraam always pictured someone who has never been.! Has never been married happen do you than women friend of mine married a in. Men have a higher risk of death than women would maybe marry your partner and their family happen you... To deal with disturbing second-wife issues you probably have always pictured someone who has never been.. To get out of what she loves and this is exploitative, which is insulting degrading... Answer in sha allah disadvantages of being a second disadvantages of being a second wife islam women and men both and their in! A big difficulty in dealing with a second wife Islam should only marry no more and no less 4! Constantly comparing yourself with his ex-wife over there thinking, the ex has the kids for Christmas Bummer Chloe...

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