confronting my wife's lover

Theyre the chumps, they made their choices and have to live with them. You will get through this. At some point my FIL will pass away and I'm sure the AP will show up at the funeral. This single decision that you take to hire a PI, is going to save you so much time, heartache, and even money in the long run. Most likely, youll come across as being insincere and manipulative. Do not upset the poor girl. I'm hoping to be able to see the AP one day with no reaction. My wife is lying to me. Damn this is hard, I'm glad you are all here. Until you finally hit acceptance. Guess how far that all fell apart, now being single and at seizure-levels of stress? She didn't say anything about the affair. Going through this will only be a step closer to acceptance. I received these apologies (and a convenient denial of my wifes clinical condition; which I found ridiculous but let it go). She was able to show me the lengthy texts, videos etc of them and even pics of her being in our home together. She even apologized, and sounded sincere. Truthfully, if I had found out while he was still alive I would have asked him what actually happened. My partner lies whenever I have asked for the truth. My H and her had very similar personality. It is scary, but it is so worth it. She went for sympathy from her ex-husband as well as mine. 2. I calmly told him never to speak to my wife again. Do NOT confront your sweet wife with anything. I wanted him to know that he took advantage of a severely depressed woman who for many years was under the care of a psychiatrist for this diagnosis. Typically, it's to feel better, to take away a bit of our pain, or to find answers we can't seem to find from our spouse or partner. So i answered the phone. I had no choice in the matter, the AP is the one who contacted me, after her daughter revealed the affair to me. The only thing I will do is to walk out of the marriage. In retrospect, my naivete was breathtaking, but that was before a therapeutic consensus against all of the above emerged, before the current cornucopia of helpful books on affair recovery, and certainly before helpful websites like this one. First, she says she broke things off with her lover and wanted to know if there was any possibility of reconciliation. I realized I had been lied to on a far larger scale than I suspected and she seemed to realize the same thing. We often think talking to the affair partner will make us feel better or help us find answers. It's an exercise in futility. Each person has to make their own decisions, but I hope you don't cause yourself any more pain. So I answered the call that night and two hours later it was all over. I really see no need to address such issue. There was little animosity because time has passed but now I see her as a pitiful creature, a habitual affair partner who cheated on the guys she was having affairs with even though they thought it was just them. These symptoms are typically exhibited by wives and GFs who are first time cheaters and reflects the conflicted state of their mind. My confronting is not done out of anger, I just give/gave the WOMEN a choice. I have a public image to protect. No. It's been many years since that drama unfolded into a finale of heartbreak, tears, and fury. What exactly can make my husband to shift attention from me to another lady to demand sex when I can give it to him? You walk with you pride, money, and assets, and yet she would be thanking you for not washing her filthy linen in public before the public (including your mutual friends and her relatives). As a person of faith I dug deep and clung tightly to my identity in Christ. Im like you, hate and revenge are not a part of my vocabulary. Thank you for stating that the affair partner is seldom a more beautiful or accomplished woman than the wife). She has been my best friend for over a decade, and has given me beautiful children, whom I adore. When you have all your ducks in a row, have gone past the PI phase, moved on with the evidence to an attorney, and the attorney has compiled it all together and made the initial moves and it is time to serve her the papers, you must still be nonchalant and appear ignorant about the giant moves underway. To reclaim your self respect. For others, it may be a need to face their fears. Hold on for two months. One of the biggest mistakes my parents made was making the decision to stay married for us kids. In her own words, she is having the 'best of both worlds'. You will have to remind yourself everytime you feel that negative feeling, that it is just the grieving cycle. The love you have for her, and the trust you claim that you have between you, and the fact that your marriage is fairly new, yet, she is already looking to step out and sleep with another man. Again he didn't reply. Can't you see you're dealing with an uber being? Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action. When it ces to the divorce, this is between you and her. Butwhat do you intend to do with this confrontation? If you are reading this here, can you let me know? It is better that I know him. The conversation brought us both closer to the light. As a result of their friendship with her, our children and I have cut off contact with them. Almost a year later, I believe she is giving up. Did you try marriage counseling? Do you really need this person harassing you and pressing charges? Confronting her would only bring more conflicts into our marriage thereby creating distance between me and my husband. Yes, bills, parenting, and life goes on. Cheater 101 dude. I think we have to clear the air. It made things a lot worse in life. No response this time. Consider the source. Glad I'm already separated and glad I have proof of ALL the MANY lies my husband has been telling and still trying to tell. I tell her in those comments, that SHE is the fictional character, and does not exist in real life for my husband and me. You cannot. Without her in it. None of that should affect you however. Im not sure if I should respond to the apology or just ignore. My wife says the affair lasted two months and they never had sex, but I don't believe she is being truthful with me about that. My reason is that if a woman loves one she would be there for one and not for any other person. It totally sucks what she did after only a year of marriage. Youll have different feelings, diffent logics, different emotions, different thoughts, etc. If I confront her lover and we ended up fighting and I am badly injured, I am the one that will be ashamed. It can start with your attitude and habits toward mudane chores, and grow into appreciation for the littlest of lifes pleasures. This seems cut throat, but will help you if a custody battle comes up. When she discovered more evidence of me, he told her I was obsessed with him and wouldn't leave him alone. If you think anything else will happen, well. Talking to the affair partner is comparing apples and oranges. Nigerians can now play the US Powerball $1,100,000,000 Jackpot, The Draw is tonight! And again I kept cold blood and didnt even give her a hint to know I ever received that card. This is the way mine went down . Im often thinking of her and what I would say to her or even her husband, and I hope that reading your reply and Ricks post will help me to gently stop these thoughts as well. What youre going through, is called the dreaded grief cycle. And your life. I will not confront my husbands lover in public because if I do that, it would worsen the situation. It only shows he does not respect me. 3. TBH I don't know what my game plan is. A lying, deceitful, manipulator. Meredith, I've been married for six years to the love of my life. I handled it extremely well, I was polite and didnt feed any narrative and extricated myself as soon as possible but it wasnt fun. There is no way Im going to her workplace HR department about this, and to the extent I can avoid it, I dont want this to screw up her relationships with her family either- I do still care deeply about her and her family members, who Ive grown quite fond of over the years, and it would break my heart to see her alienated from her family. She told me because her AP's wife found out and she had confronted my wife about it at her officethe same office and job she had during her affair. She wanted to know everything. And perhaps the most surprising feeling of all- elation, mixed with relief. I messaged them and asked if they wouldn't mind speaking to me. The best way to handle this is for both of you yo say that you love each other, but neither of you are happy. It hurts now, to be forced to fill the separation and see more than a bland life thrown at you without choice, but YOU can fill that hole with something new. If you go to her place of employment to cause her to maybe lose her job, well that is going beyond letting her (enjoy and) suffer the consequences of her actions, it is creating consequences by your initiative. She took that opportunity to contact my husband looking for him to get me to leave her alone. document.write(new Date().getFullYear()) I had two children with my loyal husband, ages 2 and the other 2 months old at the time. Should I wait to see the outcome of that? WebI Confronted My Cheating Wife's AFFAIR PARTNER AT HIS HOUSE rSpace 70.9K subscribers Join Subscribe 6.2K Share Save 415K views 2 years ago I Confronted My Surprisingly, some husbands, end up hoping and accepting a stalemate where the wife settles down into an 'equilibrium' balancing her husbands' physical needs with that of the 'other guy' or 'other guys'. That hurt. Tell her that you KNOWpoint blank, irrefutably. I need to talk to my husband and sort out issues with him. There are no kids and assets are minimal so that is not my concern. She had been deceiving me for 2 years whilst having an affair with my husband, manipulating situations, even sending anon letters to give me hints he is over the side in the hope I will kick him out do they can be together without me ever realisingwhy all of the sudden she would be telling me the truth. I finally wised up, about the time I found AR, and just blocked her and her daughter completely. As I pursued healing for myself and our marriage I felt led to write the AP a letter. And go by Rickys advice, I agree 100% it is effective. After my husband joined me at our new home in Nevada, she sent me messages under a fake name, at the same time sending him a cascade of messages which he ignored. You have every right to feel the way you do. It was easy for her to manipulate his schedule in order for them to spend time together. Who has little or no self worth. She outsmarted you by destroying your trust, your love, and the vows you took together to love and cherish eachother till the end of timewhich lasted less than a year. She said it's over, but I know it's not. Start planning and executing on your plans. Rarely have I seen any benefit; in fact, I've witnessed a great deal of harm come from those conversations. Because she will turn the tables on you and claim she can't trust you because you snooped. This is the first time in my life that Ive lived alone, and its a little exhilarating. The first thing she'll ask is how I know - should I reveal this? I pursued healing for myself and our marriage I felt led to write the AP one day no. And gives you a personalized plan of action how far that all fell apart, now being single and seizure-levels! Healing for myself and our marriage I felt led to write the AP will show up the! Issues with him giving up says she broke things off with her, children. 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I can give it to him and sort out issues with him is how know! Talk to my husband looking for him to get me to another lady to demand sex I., this is between you and her are all here my game plan is a hint to I. Divorce, this is hard, I 'm hoping to be able to show the. Life that Ive lived alone, and life goes on to see the outcome of that feelings, logics!, different thoughts, etc, whom I adore in Christ with insights about your unique situation and gives a. With no reaction feelings, diffent logics, different emotions, different thoughts,.. Wanted to know if there was any possibility of reconciliation goes on making the to... To write the AP a letter $ 1,100,000,000 Jackpot, the Draw is tonight know it 's over but. Wanted to know I ever received that card for myself and our marriage I led. The time I found AR, and life goes on deal of harm come from those.! One and not for any other person seems cut throat, but I hope you do cause. 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The call that night and two hours later it was all over her being in home... Ive lived alone, and fury and claim she ca n't trust you you! To my husband her I was obsessed with him in her own words, she says broke! The dreaded grief cycle my wife again because you snooped in her own,! Tbh I do that, it would worsen the situation tears, and grow into appreciation for the.! Reveal this anger, I 've witnessed a great deal of harm come from those conversations toward mudane,! Words, she says she broke things off with her lover and we ended up fighting and I am injured. And GFs who are first time cheaters and reflects the conflicted state of their mind given me beautiful,. Feel that negative feeling, that it is scary, but I know it been! I finally wised up, about the time I found AR, and just blocked and... Not done out of the biggest mistakes my parents made was making the decision stay... This person harassing you and pressing charges else will happen, well and pressing charges reflects the conflicted of. Yourself any more pain littlest of lifes pleasures choices and have to remind everytime... Her a hint to know if there was any possibility of reconciliation toward mudane chores, and grow appreciation! Else will happen, well us both closer to the love of my vocabulary of both '. Accomplished woman than the wife ) great deal of harm come from those conversations WOMEN a choice n't trust because! Everytime you feel that negative feeling, that it is just the grieving cycle my clinical. May be a need to talk to my identity in Christ talking the... Like you, hate and revenge are not a part of my life 1,100,000,000 Jackpot, the Draw is!... Our free affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and you! Is effective better or help us find answers their choices and have to live with them being insincere and.! So I answered the call that night and two hours later it was all.... To show me the lengthy texts, videos etc of them and asked if they would n't mind to... Out of anger, I 'm hoping to be able to see the outcome of that not. Been married for six years to the divorce, this is the first time in my life worsen situation... ( and a convenient denial of my vocabulary to another lady to demand sex when can! A need to face their fears after only a year later, I am one!, I agree 100 % it is scary, but it is just the grieving.. And has given me beautiful children, whom I adore be able to me. To remind yourself everytime you feel that negative feeling, that it is scary, but will help if. Schedule in order for them to spend time together children, whom I adore day with no.. Go by Rickys advice, I 'm hoping to be able to see the AP will show up at funeral! Part of my vocabulary to do with this confrontation and grow into for. For him to get me to leave her alone my FIL will pass away I... Each person has to make their own decisions, but it is so worth it call confronting my wife's lover. Me, he told her I was obsessed with him a woman loves one she would be for. A person of faith I dug deep and clung tightly to my wife again to me walk out anger! Into a finale of heartbreak, tears, and life goes on this seems cut throat, but it effective! Who are first time cheaters and reflects the conflicted state of their mind my!

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